April 19, 2016

How Much Book Promotion Can You Get for $150?

I’m very pleased to report that The Nobodies Album has been a huge success in every respect except for the one in which people buy it.

If you follow any writers on Faceplus or Twitbook or  Googler or whatever, then you’ve certainly heard them talking about the difficulties of promoting a book in today’s market.  It’s not that people aren’t buying books; it’s just that it’s a lot less clear than it used to be how to convince them to buy your book in particular.  We go on and on about it; it’s our favorite thing to talk about: The rules are changing!  It’s a new frontier!  Should we just beg? and so on.

I recently made the acquaintance of a site called Fiverr.com.  On Fiverr, people from all walks of life offer to do any variety of things–some useful, some demeaning and some just odd–for the low price of five dollars.  And I thought: Hmm.  If I paid thirty of these people to perform various services in the name of selling my books, I’d have a month’s worth of book promotion for only $150!

So I began to comb the listings.  I’m not going to tell you yet which 30 items I chose, but here are some of the awesome offers I did not purchase:

“I will play your favorite childhood theme song on the trumpet.”

“I will turn you into a Simpsons-inspired cartoon character.”

“I will teach you how to write a book in 40 hours.”

“I will tell you over 15 ways to chop an onion without crying.”

“I will find and protect you in case of zombie attack.”

“I will give you Steve Buscemi eyes.”

“I will have my pug have breakfast with you via Skype.”

In any case, I ended up with 30 small works of art–some really cool, some funny, some goofy, and some…just odd.  For the most part, I was thrilled with the results; if there were any cases where I wasn’t (and I’m not saying there were), I reminded myself that I’d only paid five freakin’ dollars and resolved to post them anyway.

So come back, tomorrow and every day for the month of September.  Up first: A bunny!  Eating lettuce!  And advertising my book!